Questions
Questions, how do you know which are the right ones to ask your students?
First and foremost, it is important to stay calm. When students don’t disagree with the discussion, ask yourself: “why does this student have this opinion?”. Is this really their point of view? You can ask friendly, curious questions to figure this out, like: “What is the reason this is your perspective”, or, “Which aspects influence your opinion?”. Avoid rather direct questions like: “What do you think about homosexuality?”. It is better to focus on the question why people have different opinions, for example: “How is it possible that some people think homosexuality is okay, whereas others don’t?”.
Respect the roots
If a student uses an argument like: “but in my culture…”. First, it is important to acknowledge their comment. You can do so, by saying: “Thank you for sharing”. Second, you need to respond with an open mind: “Could you tell us a bit more about this?” or “Why do you think so?”. Finally, you can redirect the conversation, and ask what the other students think about it. It is important to make the students feel like their opinion counts, no matter how much it might conflict with your own.
If a student has based their opinion on inaccurate information, such as “in my country, homosexuality does not exist”, you can invite the student to look up the correct information, or provide it yourself, without being condescending.
Please note that when the conversation is no longer a dialogue, there no longer is a safe space. You can try to start again, with a comment like: “Can you try that again, without attacking people”, but if that does not work, you should stop the conversation.
Some pointers to take into account are the following.
If you do not want to have a discussion about religion for example, don’t let yourself be pulled in that conversation. Your lesson is about diversity in families, love, values and human rights. You can also stress the shared values of many religions when it comes to loving people and mutual respect.
What if a parent comes to visit you, after you have discussed diversity in your class room? Look at this as positive, it means that the parent is involved in their child’s life and education! Nonetheless, when this happens, it is best to have a private conversation with the parent. Acknowledge their feelings and ask what the specific issue is that is bothering the parent? For all you know, there might be a misunderstanding, and you can solve this immediately.
If there is no misunderstanding, you can explain why you discussed the topic in your class. You can say for example that you want your students to learn about different topics.
At the end of the conversation, you don’t have to agree with each other. It is important however, that there is mutual understanding.
And keep in mind, you don’t have apologize for something you didn’t do wrong!